I... am very irritated. I bought the wrong type of sketchbook. It's for dry media, so it's pretty damning to see a bleeding effect when the intention is to color within the fucking lines.

I'll give the book to cissy, because I don't feel like ripping out the pages I've already drawn on.

Please let me get that job, please let me get that job, please please please.

Please hire me!

Oh yeah, for those who twitter: afterwords (mine)

resume
http://www.mediafire.com/?uh4m0jm2jx3

Class is finally over for the summer, thank god. Most of my grades are in already; I'm just waiting for chem lab and art. (Myth 101: A+, Grmn 241: A, Span 101: A, Psyc 150: A-)

Looks like the week after classes will be busier than I initially thought.

to-do
5/27: Junior's cheesecake > Em; Kumon awards ceremony/dinner
5/28: 11, noonish in manhattan with mads > job hunting and general walkery
5/29: 12.25 at lion library > techies > iron man
5/30: fran's graduation dinner

--note to self: try to find free day to go to the BFA gallery with m-ly
--sometime next week: shar + subash > Indiana 4 or The Strangers


Still have a load of cleaning to do. Oh dear.

I FOUND MY DORM AND MAILBOX KEYS.

They were hiding under a paper napkin, on Michelle's mini telly.

Small miracles!

But you're in another relationship...? Somehow I was really startled. I shouldn't be...

But maybe it's because you haven't changed your status in facebook?

Or maybe you don't want to advertise who she is...?

I'm a bit down.


...but it's a tiny bit hard to feel even that, right now. I've been reading manga for nearly 12 hours straight on just cookies (~6hrs ago) and without much of a break...

Manga over food... that's rather freakish, isn't it.

Two more finals (myth and spanish) left for this thursday and then I'm freeeee---

...no, not yet. I still have to pack and, shit, I have accumulated a lot. Also, my room's still a mess. Oh, and I can't find my keys. Again.

Check-out is this Saturday. (fuuuuck)

x

I'm very glad that my psyc finals are over. I wish I had spent a bit more time studying for the exam, because I still had five or so hours left to finish the project before it was due. I hope my prof thinks the wiki's worth at least a B+. Oh well, that's over now.

x

I'm seeing you again next week and, oh, I'm really giddy. I'm just the tiniest disappointed that someone else is coming, too, but I'm actually more relieved 'cos I lack faith in my conversational skills. It'd be a bit awkward with just us, I think? I really don't know you all that well.

(Ah, fuck... now I'm starting to really regret not waiting for you after school. I miss your shoulder.)

But anyway. Movie! We're seeing the Indy 4 movie and not a horror, so hurrah for that. I... really don't like horror. Last time was a bit embarassing, you bastard.

But oh. I really like it when you smile. D:

Point of slight irritation: I wish you'd initiate some convos with me. But whatever.

On one hand, I've finally finished my vid project-- more than 24 hours before the due date. And I've got lots of new music to listen to and new manga chapters to read. And I'm in all the classes I want for the fall semester.

:DDD, right?

But then... finals are coming up and art projects are due even sooner. So. D:

....but I attended a wedding on Friday. After a snit with my mom over my clothes (note to self: it's never too early to look for an apartment before junior year) before the ceremony, I actually had a lot of fun. <3

My circle of friends needs an non-workaholic insomniac. It's pretty lonely around here, at nearly 4 in the morn.

I need someone to commiserate with, but nooo. Everyone's bloody asleep.

TउT

I finally finished making my schedule. Now I have to do tomo-- today's art assignment. And, possibly, some vid-shooting.

It's crazy how much art makes up most of my workload.

4-29: Grand Central Equation

RAW DATA
.: Description of all substances used
.: Chemical equation
.: Tabulated mass of zinc sulfate
.: Tabulated mass of barium iodide
.: Tabulated mass of boiling tube + boiling chips
.: Tabulated mass of boiling tube + boiling chips + zinc iodide
.: Mass of zinc iodide

RESULTS TABLE (showing calc.s)Need to find theoretical yield of zinc iodideand percent yield of iodide.

CONFIDENCE REPORT....

FOCUS QUESTION1. Should chemists prepare zinc iodide, from its elements or from a double replacement reaction between barium iodide and zinc sulfate?

WHAT IF .:. ...

I feel a bit guilty. I decided not to go on the trip at the very last minute. It was after I got my $10 back. Though it was mine in the first place, I hope the people in charge don't think I lied about signing up.

(See, the trip was free; I just had to sign up and put down a $10 deposit. I would get my money back, regardless of whether I went or decided to back out. The morning of the trip, though, for some reason my name wasn't on the list. I was not about to lose 10$ due to a mistake.

I shouldn't feel guilty.)

I'm a little more than bit dejected.

I like the friends I've made on my all-girl dorm floor, I really do. But there's this emotional distance I've noticed lately? Not so much from their end; more from mine. It's just that I can't connect with them very well.

No, I won't say "just." It sounds like I can really dismiss this. I sort of did, though, to an extent.

It's... well. I'm shit at verbal two-people conversations, so when I'm faced with them, I either babble or remain silent. It's like, what the hell do I talk to them about? I'd rather much listen. And in getting to know my new friends, that's really the sum of my interactions with them.

They talk, I listen. Yeah, I talk a bit here and there, but not much in comparison...? I just get the feeling that I know nothing about them. Or, really, that this friendship is kind of.... shallow, but only because I can't venture, can't offer bits and pieces of myself, you know?

I miss my high school friends. I don't have many close friends, but the ones I do have-- they know what I'm really like, or who I really am.

Around my floor mates, I tend to be very... reticent? I think that's the word. Zen-like, laid-back. Smile, laugh, keep my tongue. I let others do the talking and I can't help but think that's been holding me back. I know I have-- am still holding back.

I know that I can talk. A lot. But my interests are so different from my floor mates. And I can't talk about people or drama because I have nothing to say in that area. I don't have drama with people--- I don't do it. Or rather, it'd be more accurate to say that I can't. I'm fairly incapable of it.

I'm a somewhat violent person, but whatever aggression I have is like a sleeper agent. It's just not there most of the time. At the same time, I don't like confrontations that involve me. I'm too amiable and polite for that.

Fuck. Maybe it's because they're normal girls? Maybe cos most of them are white? (And I'm not talking about being caucasian here. I mean, generally speaking? The general lack of ethnic coloring? I can't explain it.)

Maybe it's me?


There's this distance and I don't know what to do about it. It's slowly getting wider...

Lullaby
(web comic)

Kyaaa~

I've almost filled up my sketchbook! I'm very happy cos I've never been able to achieve this.
<3

Only a few more pages left.

Also: I was able to replace my camera. <3>